A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

If You Are Not Ready, Don't Start

There are times when we feel we should take action, but feel stuck or unsure. Action does assist with moving forward, but the first question to ask is "Am I ready?". We might be willing and able, but if we are not ready we will have a false start. We will sabotage ourselves. Being ready is about commitment.

Being ready is also a mindset. At times we have to be pretty fed up before we are really ready to make a change. A friend recently quit her job after months of being miserable. She was willing and able, but for some reason she could not let go of what she called "the job from hell." The last straw for her was being demoted and having her salary cut. This action by the company moved her to being ready. As humans we can put up with a whole lot. We tolerate and tolerate until finally we are pushed to the point of being ready. 

It does seem pretty common that becoming ready often happens after we are totally fed up. There is a way to become ready without being pushed over the edge. One question I like to ask myself is "What is the worst thing that can happen?". Once I have the answer, the next question is "And can I live with that?". If the answer is yes, then chances are you are ready to make your move. If you are still not sure - begin seeking other options. Keep working on those two questions until you come up with a solution that you can live with. 

Being ready is a state of mind. You have to be ready right down to the fibers of your bones or it won't work. When you are ready, your commitment level will be 100%. If you are not ready, your commitment level will be much less, and whatever actions you take will not be sufficient to create what you want. 

Give yourself a break. If you are not ready, don't beat yourself up over it. Take a few steps back and ask yourself, "What am I ready to do?". Taking small steps can often help us get up the courage to take the big leap. There are times when any action is better than none at all. Start from where you are and keep focused and moving forward. Getting ready is a process; so don't rush it. There are occasions when it takes time to work up to the point where you can take the leap.

4 Steps to Set Your Mind for Success

By Beth Tabak

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Marianne Williamson

How long have you waited to be happy at work, to write a book, or bring home the income you deserve? Are you your own best support system or biggest diversion? Consider the cheetah which has no problem using its gift of speed. The bald eagle easily leverages its keen eye sight and ability to soar. Dolphins joyfully exert their playfulness. Imagine what is possible for humans with our unique gift of the mind if we focus on what serves us versus what holds us back. Discover four steps to set your mind for success.

1- Know what is limiting you~ Let's investigate a mystery. What beliefs are at your core? Pay attention for one week to the self-limiting beliefs that show up. As a detective, be consciously aware. Keep a journal handy for notes.

Beliefs can show up as a label you place upon yourself attached to an assumption such as Parent- there is only so much I can do or Owner- I can't count on anyone but myself. They can reveal themselves in negative statements such as "I can't be…", "I can't do…", "I'm not good enough"," I'm not smart enough," "I never complete anything," etc. Beliefs may be uncovered in an assumption such as "there's not enough time", "that's too hard", or "he'll say 'no' ". Write down the beliefs you notice that restrain you from what you want.

2- Get to the source of the diversion~ A good detective digs deeper. Whose voice is attached to the belief? How did this belief become attached to your life? Is it legitimate? Is it serving you? Or limiting you? Jot your notes. I have to warn you. We hesitate to go within because we subconsciously know what may be lurking at the source. Fear! Write down any fears you discover that are holding you back.

3- Rewrite your limiting beliefs and fears with an unlimited confident statement~ Turn "I can't" into "I am", "that's too hard" into "I know I can do this part", "I don't have enough time" into "I know what's important and I do that first", and "Parent- there's only so much I can do" to "Parent- the world is my resource. I can do what I put my mind to." Reread your new attitude daily. Picture it as true. Feel it as real until it becomes part of who you are.

4- Stand strong and respond~ Do not slack when it comes to eliminating self-limiting beliefs! When they show up, mount up. When you hear "you will never be…" respond with "says who? I determine my value." When you think "you are going to make a fool of yourself" respond by saying "I will love myself for having the guts to try." And when you believe there is no time left for your dreams, drop what is not as important and stand up for who you are.

Are you willing to do what it takes to set your mind for success with unstoppable determination? Will you do the detective work to gain access to your unlimited capabilities? What I want for you is to break out of the bounds of limits and become your own best Success Coach… Starting Now!

Copyright 2005 © Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.

Abraham Lincoln Didn't Quit

Probably the greatest example of persistence is Abraham Lincoln. If you want to learn about some­body who didn't quit, look no further. Born into poverty, Lincoln was faced with defeat throughout his life. He lost eight elections, twice failed in business and suffered a nervous breakdown. He could have quit many times — but he didn't and because he didn't quit, he became one of the greatest presidents in the history of our country. Lincoln was a champion and he never gave up.

Here is a sketch of Lincoln's road to the White House:

1816: His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them.

1818: His mother died.

1831: Failed in business.

1832: Ran for state legislature — lost.

1832: Also lost his job — wanted to go to law school but couldn't get in.

1833: Borrowed some money from a friend to be­gin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt.

1834: Ran for state legislature again — won.

1835: Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.

1836: Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.

1838: Sought to become speaker of the state legis­lature — defeated.

1840: Sought to become elector — defeated.

1843: Ran for Congress — lost.

1846: Ran for Congress again — this time he won -went to Washington and did a good job.

1848: Ran for re-election to Congress — lost.

1849: Sought the job of land officer in his home state — rejected.

1854: Ran for Senate of the United States — lost.

1856: Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party's national convention - got less than 100 votes.

1858: Ran for U.S. Senate again - again he lost.

1860: Elected president of the United States.

Pastor ' s Business Card

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!